Jacob and Marcia

The question has been asked, “What if he goes for his PhD?”  Well, if he does, we will cross that bridge when/if it comes.  If it does, it will not be for some time.  It would require us to move, there is not a program here for him, and we all know how we feel about moving.  If you don’t know, we hate strongly dislike moving.  Also, if he does decided to go for more school, I can put together a new image.  Easy fix.  But for now, he took his last test this morning and on Friday evening he will walk across the stage and get some fancy paper and a hood.  He has worked hard and it really is a great accomplishment.  Good job Husband!

So a year and a half ago, a month before Mar©ia was born, there was a great baby shower.  It was fun, my sister put a lot of hard work into it and it was awesome.  Lots of people showed up.  I felt loved.  There were some much needed gifts and we appreciated them, we still do.  One of them was a Fisher Price Cheer for Me! Potty.*  We left it in the box.  Not because we didn’t want it, but because a newborn does not need it yet, and it takes up less space in the closet when still in the box.

For the past weeks (months?)  Mar©ia has been curious about mee using the toilet.  She likes to walk in the bathroom while I go, she seems excited to hear my pee hit the bowl, and wants to look in there after I stand.  I narrate what I am doing and am trying to be candid about the fact that this is just the way we do it when we do not wear diapers.  Sounds kind of like this, “First I lift the lid, then I pull down my pants and underwear and I sit down.  Listen, that is my pee.  I pee in the toilet.  Right now you wear a diaper and that is where you pee.  I do not wear a diaper, so I pee here.  (If I have to poop, I talk about pooping in the toilet too, same basic phrases.) I am done peeing (pooping).  I will use toilet paper and wipe so I don’t drip on my clothes.  Now I pull up my pants and flush the toilet with this handle.  I can watch the pee (poop) go down the drain.  Now I wash my hands with soap.  I am all done, now it is time to get out of the bathroom.”  She is curious and I am happy to have her learn.

Mar©ia has also been doing OKAY about telling us when she has pooped.  She in the last couple weeks has said “poop” to mee, I take her to change her diaper and she has only peed, then in a couple minutes after changing her diaper, she poops.  She tries to help clean her bottom when she has a poopy diaper, not that it really helps, at all.  She will grab a diaper or say diaper and go right to the changing station.  Most of the time she is cooperative.  I am glad she stopped trying to get away EVERY time we had to change her.

I am not saying that she is ready to be toilet trained.  Time will tell.  But she is interested in learning about it.  So, Monday I got out the box with the training potty.  I figure it won’t hurt for her to become familiar with it.

I told Mar©ia that we were going to open the gift from the baby shower for her.  She came over got excited and I got through the tape on the end.**  She started to reach in and at first I let her.  Then I noticed that it looked dingy.  There was dust and scuff marks.  I figured it would be no big deal if it had just been on display and I wiped that off.  Then I noticed there were some other “stains” on it that took more elbow-grease to wipe away, so I left the rest.  I pulled the box out of her reach and pulled out the toilet.  Sure enough, there are scratches on the lid and seat where they have been worn.  The paint is worn off the handle where it has been “flushed.”  There are urine spots on the inner rim of the seat.  There are “stains” on the underside of the seat, which I can only assume is poop.  The removable bowl is grimy looking.  Obviously this has been used with some kid and returned to the store, which they then put back on the shelf!***

There is no way I am letting her sit on a stranger’s pee/poop.  There is no way my friend would be comfortable even knowing that this seat came used.  If you are reading this story, I apologize; please do not puke on your computer.  I almost did when I opened it.  (Pregnancy can have that effect on a person.)  We decided the thing to do is take it back to the store; we still have the gift receipt.

I called the store to explain what happened and to see if the gift receipt is still acceptable.  There are no notes on the gift receipt with an expiration date, or anything to indicate there would be a problem, however it is 18 months old, so I wanted to check.  The lady on the phone said that they will not take it back if it is over 90 days old.  My “only option at this time is to call the company”, Fisher Price.****  I almost laughed, that is ridiculous.

I rolled my eyes and did what any other person would do, if they had the “connections,” I asked one of my friends that works at this store and is a little more in the know, and a whole lot friendlier, for advice.  I explained the whole situation and she told mee how to go about it.  So later after we were fairly certain it was a different service desk person, we went in and exchanged it for a new, never-been-opened-clean one.  And we made sure they took note of the used-ness of it and mark it down, I hope they do not try to re-sell that thing, again.  It is just nasty!

After we got it home and opened  we realized that a few things were missing from the dirty one.  There was no instruction manual or warranty card, the sound system (it plays songs and cheers when peed in) was missing, and the splash guard was missing (which may come in handy if our next one is a boy).  It was obvious that whoever did this had had the potty for a while since they could not remember how it was packaged, they had the parts disassembled, whereas the new one came mostly assembled other than the sound system had to be attached and the back had to be inserted.

*This was a fun gift because at Girls Camp I was so grossed out by our toilet options that I took a bucket and an emergency preparedness toilet seat with bags to camp.  I may have been made fun of (maybe not) but I had a clean place to sit, free of bugs, when I had to go.

**The friend that got this normally would only have purchased the perfect-never-been-opened box, but it was the only one on the shelf, and was led to believe that it was just a display model that was put back in the box and taped closed.

***What makes a person so dishonest to use a toilet, even a training kind, not clean it and then return it as if there is nothing amiss?  I really do not understand.  And what possesses a store to let that go back on the shelf and be resold?  I know they want to make as much money as they can, but com e on have some decency!  I can only assume it means they do not look over the items that are returned to make sure they are good before selling them again.  (My friend that told mee how to go about the return told mee another gross story about how someone came back mad because a diaper disposal system they had purchased came with a dirty diaper already installed…that means it was on the shelf with a dirty diaper inside it!  She said she wishes she could make all the returns people check over the items before they let the products go back on the shelf.)

****I have yet to understand why I would need to call Fisher Price and have them do anything with a product the store allowed to be returned, with poop and pee still on it, and returned to the shelf and re-sold.  I can only imagine the person on that call telling mee that they cannot do anything about it because it was not used when shipped to the store in the first place.  And I would agree.  I have not called Fisher Price, I do not know how their customer service is, and they may be wonderful for all I know.  I would like to believe that since they make stuff for kids.

And she was so proud to show us that she was able to get it off the table and peel it by herself.

Tonight she enjoyed speghetti with us.

We went to the store this evening, yet again.  They did not have what we were looking for, yet again.  So we will have to order it off the internet, yet again.

Anydangways, on our way home there were some spots of cool fog.  And that got mee to thinking about how we often refer to “dense fog.”  That got mee to thinking about the word “dense.”  When I was younger I used to think it meant “light,” “airy,” or “fluffy.”  So then when someone would give mee bread or cake to try and call it “dense” I assumed it would have the consistency of angel-food cake.  I was confused by it being more like pound cake instead.  I do not remember when I finally understood, probably a science class when talking about mass, or maybe a social studies class when talking about population.  In any case I figured it out.  Some people may wonder why I misunderstood the word in the first place.  This is why.  I often heard some individuals called “dense.”  These are the same people I heard called “air-heads.”  So in my young-brain-logic, dense=full of air.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

*Okay, so “often” could have been only once or twice for all we know, then again it could have been everyday.  (Un)fortunately, I do not remember who was called this or by whom, I just remember hearing it.

And just for fun, here is a picture, or two, of an amazing little girl typing the text after the picture.

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TTJHY555sgsssssssssssssssssssssssccdwdqsss7444nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnjghbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb+

633.

3…

020789.89+.66

3

nj

k,o,o,o,o,o,o,o,o,o

+++52525252521*99*9*2jhihhhhhhhhhh  hhhhhnnn77777,,,,,jkukun jnjjjjo6yygjujynfg0 .236663666666666 vc’ c[vbccv999999999999999999999999999ui

96.

2.

One of the biggest right now has to do with online interactions.  Specifically the category of cyber bulling.

I know the first thing that comes to my mind when I hear that term is teenagers.  But I am here to remind us all that it is not just teens that are on the receiving end of this bad behavior.  There are many adults who participate.  Both those who bully and those who are bullied.

I would like to extend this invitation to everyone:  Please do not bully.  Not in virtual reality, not in real-life reality either.

Let us just get along.  If you do not wish to interact with an individual, just do not do it.  There is no need or benefit in going up to them and specifically ignoring them, or acting like they do not exist.  When a person is standing next to you and you believe they do not exist, does that mean you do not exist either?  Likewise, going into a person’s space on the internet (even if it is simply where the person may see it) and talking about them, or saying rude things to them is bullying.  Do not do it! 

Public versus private.  If you are planning or simply talking about private events, do it privately!  Or in the least do not be offended when “public” people ask for details because it looks like a fun thing. *

I believe one of the biggest reasons people do this on the internet is they don’t see it as real.  People who if you asked them in person if they are a bully would tell you they are not.  In person they probably would not perform the actions that hurt.  Why then does s/he feel differently about typing bullying words?  I do not know the reason, nor do I want to dwell on that, I am tired of trying to find out. 

This is why my online presence has been very scarce for the last months.  Do not ask details, I will not share names, I likely will not even tell the story with names changed.  This is part of my resolve to choose to not be offended any more.  And, yes, I do recognize that being offended is a choice; even if a person intends to offend mee I still can choose not to be offended.  I am human and probably will find offense at times, but I am working on decreasing this occurrence.

Just let’s remember what we do online is the same as going into another person’s home and saying/doing these things.  It stirs the same feelings in your own self.  The biggest difference is that in person, you can use body language and tone of voice.  When a person reads a message, it is open to interpretation based on what mood they are in, health, what they were just doing, etc.  Personally I do not like feeling like a “friend” has come to my home and started being rude, It would make mee want to kick them out.  So essentially that is what happened, I logged out and kicked them out of my personal space. 

Then, one day I was talking to a friend, she noticed I had not been online in a while (we were talking about facebook specifically) and asked if I was okay.  This is a real friend.  In the course of the conversation she asked if I missed it.  I understood the question to be about missing facebook.  I said that honestly no I do not.  As I have reflected on that conversation it occurs to mee that perhaps she was asking if I missed people.  I suddenly realized that while I kicked out the bullies, I also kicked out the not-bullies.  And I found that I missed out on a lot of great things.  (Things that I would know if I were “present” in the conversations.  I know some people have sent mee info/messages on facebook.  I know because you have told mee to go look and reply.  Slowly I think I will get to them.) So do I miss facebook?  Not necessarily.

Do I miss people?  Yes!  The positive ones.  Those who uplift, and bring a smile to my face.  I miss the fun conversations that I am sure have taken place among my siblings and cousins.  I miss being able to laugh with friends when they laugh or being able to shed a tear when a friend relates bad news.  The years and miles have separated many people.  The internet offers to be a gap connector.  Though the distance is great, we can enter each other’s’ homes and share our lives.  That is why I still have hope.

So, If you are worried that you are a bully, step back read what you type (listen to what you say) and think about how that would sound/feel if directed at (or excluded) you.  Only you can know your intentions.  If you can better/more clearly/less offensively state something, try.  Let us all work together to become a better society.  I know we can do it together.

* This brings up another point:  Stop whining because “Amy” and “Sally” are friends and hang out.  If you want to do things with Amy, invite her to get together, instead of crying because she invited Sally.  Do you want a friend that only whines and tries to make you feel bad?  I most certainly do not, I cannot think of anyone who does.  And even if a person does want that, do you really want to choose that kind of negativity for your life, or your family’s life?  I do not.

Friends are good to have.  They are great to have.  We can learn from each other.  We can have fun together.  And people can have friends that are other people.  Just because I enjoy walking with one friend and cooking with another, does not mean I can’t do something else with yet another person.  No one can be everybody’s everything.

This morning we decided to go for a family bike ride. Marcia Holland’s first. I think she enjoyed it. She took a nap in her bike trailer.

First we had to see if her helmet would fit her yet.

Still a little loose, but we decided it was close enough to go for a short ride.
After the ride she and Jacob had matching helmet-hair.

Next time we will have to set up the camera on a timer so we can get a shot of all three of us out for a bike ride.

We were all relaxing, Marcia on the floor, Me in the recliner and Jacob on the futon with the iPad. He fell asleep, and Marcia saw this as her opportunity. She crawled over, stood up, realized she could not reach, and put her xylophone in place as a step. Sadly for her, Jacob woke up in time to rescue it from her.

Then we decided to let Copyright take a turn at the piano. I hope you can get an idea of how much she likes the piano. Unfortunately, this video turned out odd. I recorded it with my phone. Now, watching the playback, it has the full three and a half minutes of video with audio, though somehow it un-synced. I don’t know how or why. When I uploaded it to youtube, it sped up part of the video and cut it short, and so there is only 25 seconds of audio. I (as her mother) still enjoy it, I hope you can too.

Another interesting fact…Marcia Had tooth number 8 break through the gums. Four on top and four on bottom! (Part of mee thinks this is unfair. I know all people are different and what not, but I know of kids that don’t start getting teeth till their first birthday. I wonder why she is in such a hurry.)

Well, it’s not really any different from other days.  But today, today I, Marcia the elder, have held Marcia the younger in my arms as many days as I held her inside mee.  My how time flies.  This little girl has accomplished so many tasks in these short 37 weeks and 4 days.  (I believe it is a big day for Jacob too, he just was at the university or high school during the picture and video sessions.)

She was walking all around the office.  I had given her some puffed rice to snack on, with mee in the room I was able to keep an eye on her.  While she is good with the walker, I am still quicker.  I was watching her, she was eating and loving her freedom.  Before my eyes, she got sleepy.  No whining or crying, though she was happy I picked her up to lay her down.

Here are some of the pictures taken during the first video.  And one that she wanted taken of mee.  I figure I ought to include myself at least once in a while.

First video was recorded to capture Marcia’s reaction to seeing her pictures.  The second is to showcase her self-feeding skills.  The videos are not really “thrilling” and I know that many people get bored of seeing baby videos, but I am happy with what she can do and figure that any grandparents or aunts/uncles or cousins Nana might be interested.

When I checked, YouTube had aborted the video. No reasons, just did. So now, 18 hours and 14 restarts later here is the second video.

Other notable information on Marcia (aka Copyright2010):

She has seven teeth, I can see the eighth right under the gums.
Her favorite color seems to still be red, though I do have some neon yellow fabric that she loves to play with.
She LOVES music.
She is always trying to take the camera or phone.  Always is not allowed to do so.  Always complains about that.
She is ticklish, and has an amazing laugh!
She pulls herself up on everything she can, she tried to climb up the outside of the walker this evening.
She likes to walk if some body holds her hands.  Once she figures out balance, there will be no stopping her.
She claps when she approves, or hears the words “good job.”  No matter who did the good job.
She claps when we get her out of the crib after naps.
She loves to look in the mirror.  Especially right after napping.  She smiles and talks and claps for the baby in the mirror, which I am sure she knows is herself (for a while now).
She roams all over her crib.  Standing, sitting, laying.  She does all that on her own.  She also moves a lot in her sleep.
She loves taking a bath.  She stands and sits and crawls all over the tub.  She would probably live in there if we would let her.
She likes to eat.  Her favorite foods thus far are butternut squash, puffed brown rice, and bananas.  I think she would eat anything if I mixed it with bananas.  She has not yet rejected anything, however the food she has been least thrilled with is apple.  We are also now on the look out for sensitivities to that with a second attempt, after a break.
We have been working on ASL signs.  She seems to understand the ones we use most.  She has been able to consistently make her version of “more,” “food,” “done,” “what,” and just today I saw her do “milk.”
She loves to bounce.  Jacob likes to tell people that “just like a puppy, you can tell how happy she is by how much her butt wiggles.”

Or so she would have us believe….

Marcia likes to eat.  Marcia likes to eat bananas.  Marcia likes to feed herself.  She has trouble picking up small pieces of banana, so I let her have a big piece of it.  This is what she did.  I thought she was done, then she started to have more fun, thus the two clips together.  I hope you enjoy.  Just so you are forewarned, the video is about six minutes long.

After she was done, I cleaned quite a bit of mashed banana off the floor.  And Marcia needed a bath, in which, she crawled all over and stood and sat and played and chased her rubber ducky and foam letters all around the tub.  She sure is a fun and busy little girl!

Now for a few still shots:

I was working on a sewing project and Marcia was playing with toys in the middle of the floor.  I heard her squawk for attention.  I turned around and discovered that she had gone exploring.  This is how I found her.

Once she saw she had my attention, she was happy.

And this last Sunday Jared (one of Jacob’s brothers) was set apart and left on Wednesday for to serve a mission.  Marcia will certainly miss him.  We all will.

I love even more that it is her daddy making her laugh in the other room.  The sound fills the house!

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Marcia the younger is the offspring of Jacob and Marcia (the elder).  She is eight months old (yesterday) and woke with a sixth tooth in her mouth (this morning).  Her favorite activities are exploring the house and attempting to claim anything her parents hold.  She enjoys typing, pulling herself up on things, and walking with assistance.

So, first off, Marcia the Younger had her fourth and fifth teeth pop through yesterday (Saturday).  Making a total of five teeth in that little mouth, three on bottom and two on top!  (I had to wait for her to sleep in order to get any pictures of the teeth in her mouth.)

Also, we got to go hang out with the Richard and Ginny clan including Martini and Noah-gator tonight!  That was lots of fun.

Typed with her own two hands, and a foot:

A4AS11tuuuuuuuuuuuuuutyv6rrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeerf6rrrrrrrrtyf6rsety6uy667tcwqqqqqqqqqqqqj8gyt67hunjhhbgthm

Translation:

Dear Daddy,

I miss you. I hope you are having a good time at Youth Conference. I am excited to see you tonight.

Love,
Marcia Holland

Enjoy the latest antics!

Also, Happy Anniversary Ryan and Anissa!

many things.  This one makes mee laugh a lot!

Okay, actually I like spring, I love summer.

The weather was beautiful, so we took 14-week-old Marcia for a walk. After we got home, she started “talking” and insisted on being listened to. Here is her story.

I love my baby, and I don’t want to share her. Then I remind myself that if I do, perhaps I will be lucky enough to hear that other people love her too….

So, here goes something: 2 videos. Of Marcia the younger. With brief appearances by the arms of Jacob and Marcia the elder. They are each around five and a half minutes long.

This first one is from the twelfth. In the bath tub. I put her in the bathing suit I wore as an infant (for modesty’s sake). It is nice to see a human wear it. For the past couple decades it was worn by my cabbage patch kid.

This second video is from today. First part this morning, second part this afternoon.

I hope you enjoyed the videos as much as we enjoy Marcia.

Here is a video we took the other day while she lay on her stomach after getting a fresh tookus.

She is getting so big!

Here is a picture of Marcia from this morning at eight weeks to the minute.

And we love her!

It has been a busy month.  Marcia sure did pick a busy time of year to get born.

Now with the holidays over, perhaps life will slow down.  Then maybe we can get a good routine happening, or at least pretend it is happening.

Tonight we did a photo shoot.  Pictures to come soon, perhaps I will be able to post some while she naps tomorrow.

Yesterday was her Naming and Blessing at church.  It was a very special day.  Some of our favorite people came to share in that with us.

I will also answer some FAQs when I post the pictures.

Tonight, as we bid farewell to 2010, we reflect on some of the things that have happened this year. In hindsight, it’s been a very big year for us, with a lot of big, big changes. Here’s our list of accomplishments for 2010:

• In January, Jacob went back to school to work on getting a Masters degree in Computer Science.
• On one saturday in April, we got an iPad and learned that we were going to become parents (OK, so getting an iPad isn’t really a huge accomplishment, but it WAS an exciting day, and helped us launch a new business).
• On June 14, we closed on the purchase of a house that had been trying to sell itself to us for two years, and on the same day started telling people that Marcia was pregnant.
• On December 3, Marcia completed her mitosis and now we have two Marcias.
• 2 weeks later, Jacob finished his second semester of graduate school (with a 4.0 GPA, which I’m quite proud of).
• This morning, December 31, we read the Second Epistle of John, which was 373 consecutive days of reading scriptures together. 2010 was the first year in which we read together every day.
• Also as of December 31, we have kept the smaller Marcia alive for 4 whole weeks, which is longer than any plant (and most fish) we’ve ever owned. The original Marcia is still alive and happy as well.

2010 Was very good to us, and we’re excited to see what 2011 brings. Happy New Year!

We will call Copyright Marcia.  When she is older and can decide for herself, she can choose to be called Holland if she prefers.  Until then, we will rely on context to know which of us we are talking to/about.  Many boys go through the same process when named after their fathers.  It always works out.

First picture ever.

First picture as a family of three.

Bonding with her daddy as they check out her mommy.

The two Marcias hanging out.

I just love this one.

Perfect little hands.

Long precious feet.

Our little burrito.

Wearing bikes for Daddy.

This is what she did when I started singing Thriller to her.

Holding onto her mommy helps her sleep.

Folding her hands, is she praying?

Just precious!

Family picture after everyone has cleaned off.

Copyright has arrived, and she’s a girl!

Marcia Holland Thurman was born at 7:17 this morning. She weighs 6 lbs, 7 oz and is 20 inches long.
Marcia (Mom) and Marcia (baby) are both healthy and happy and doing great.

She is named for her mother and for Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, with whom she shares a birthday.

Pictures to come later.

I just want to reflect a bit as this week is kind of a big milestone week for mee.  Most people probably think I must be referring to the fact that on Tuesday (two days ago) my pregnancy hit 39 weeks.  While that is true, and a great thing, that is not what I am reflecting on today*.  On Monday I had the pleasure of going to yet another doctor’s appointment.  As I was waiting for the doctor to come in and check things out (you know the “fun stuff.”  Well at least hearing the baby’s heart beating is fun) I noticed the date written down “11/29/2010.”  Time has flown by!  Without my seeing it.  Specifically, ten years of time.  On 11/29/2000 I entered the Missionary Training  Center prior to going to Chile.  Wow!  That was the day I met for the first time Monica and Amy (and the elders in our district), it was also the last opportunity I had to meet up with Fiona (and meet her new husband Zac), it was nice to have a friendly face next to mee in that farewell meeting.  That was still in the day they allowed family/friends to come past the curb.  Though living so far away, I flew out alone.  Fiona and Zac brought mee a box of Andes mints, which were delicious and I loved them, thank you.  However I was probably too selfish to share them, and I am sure I ate them all myself, my apologies to Amy and Monica.  I know I am not as good at keeping in touch as I wish to be, but I am grateful for the internet and our ability to be in contact over the distances, and through our own web spaces we can know what is happening in each others’ lives.

*Here is a picture from Tuesday, mee at 39 weeks:

And this one too, because I like my shirt, and I think it hides my belly, kinda, though I am pretty proud of that belly…

(Also, because it makes mee laugh.)