For Christmas we enjoy when we get MAD LIBS books. I got one with presidential stories, and I asked the children to fill in the blanks.
Title: So, you want to be president?
Do you dream of becoming the next house of the United States? You’ll probably want to start with a cute position, like a councilperson or mayor of Grandma’s house. Then you could become a state representative or an orthodontist in order to cut your legislative brain cells! Just make sure you don’t support any scrumdiddlyumptious bills or controversial chandeliers. When in doubt, always side with the everyday sun in the sky. Be sure to keep your earlobe clean and stay free of bright scandals, which will be sure to surface during your campaign. Everything you’ve ever said or shreiked will come to light. Finally, learn to smile and wave adorably. You’ll be shaking a lot of pupils and decorating a lot of babies on the campaign trail! Or you could always start as a Neon Tetra on TV!
Do you dream of becoming the next booger of the United States? You’ll probably want to start with a lumpy position, like a councilperson or mayor of the water park. Then you could become a state representative or a plumber in order to cut your legislative hairs! Just make sure you don’t support any cool bills or controversial clocks. When in doubt, always side with the everyday mom. Be sure to keep your nose clean and stay free of cold scandals, which will be sure to surface during your campaign. Everything you’ve ever said or ran will come to light. Finally, learn to smile and wave funnily. You’ll be shaking a lot of eyes and walking a lot of babies on the campaign trail! Or you could always start as a sneeze on TV!
Do you dream of becoming the next caterpillar of the United States? You’ll probably want to start with a triangular position, like a councilperson or mayor of the restaurant. Then you could become a state representative or be a doctor in order to cut your legislative ears! Just make sure you don’t support any slimey bills or controversial LEGOs. When in doubt, always side with the everyday doctor. Be sure to keep your leg clean and stay free of scandals made of bugs, which will be sure to surface during your campaign. Everything you’ve ever said or rubbed will come to light. Finally, learn to smile and wave apologetically. You’ll be shaking a lot of eyes and looking at a lot of babies on the campaign trail! Or you could always start as a letter “O” on TV!
Jacob: The smallest thing I am grateful for is the electron because electrons make my job and most of modern technology possible.
Marcia the Elder: The smallest thing I am thankful for is DNA because I am amazed at how living things/beings grow and form and develop and change over time and how we get all of our unique traits.*
Marcia the Younger: The smallest thing I am thankful for is this bowl** so that Corban doesn’t burn the house down.
Also, I am thankful for atoms because they make up everything.***
Hinckley: The smallest thing I am thankful for is family, no, it is food.
Corban: I think the smallest thing I am thankful for is the entire house. Wait, it is bigger than us. Uh, uh, I know, a mini-robot that is this small.****
*What a run-on thought!
**A wooden bowl where we put the knobs for the stove top ever since he lit a pan of brownies on fire causing a bit of an issue.
***This is where Jacob said, “That’s why you shouldn’t believe atoms, because they make up everything.” To which, she did giggle.
****Pinching his fingers together with about a centimeter space.
Our responses to, “Would you rather live in a gingerbread house with the candy decorations or a house made of LEGO?”
Jacob: LEGO because I like changing things and reconfiguring the house would be that much more fun.*
Marcia the Elder: I guess we should get a LEGO house. It would be more structurally sound than a gingerbread house. Can you imagine that first wind and rainstorm. It would be one big soggy, sticky mess. My family seems to want to change the house a lot…. Wait until they see that I may or may not have used Kragle on the LEGO house.
Marcia the Younger: Probably LEGO because then I wouldn’t be tempted to eat my house. Also, there are smooth pieces of LEGO to smooth over the floor.**
Hinckley: LEGO because if we lived in a gingerbread house we’d be really tempted to eat our house, and them we would have no home to live in. Also, because we could take our house apart if it was a LEGO house and put it back together and transform our whole house.
Corban: The reason I want a LEGO house is because I want the floor to be flat with no studs. That’s why I want to live in a house made of LEGO with you.
*Mar©ia pointed out that it would be easier to fix the gutters because you can just make stairs to reach the gutters.
**As often as she asks to rearrange her room, I am surprised that she didn’t mention this in her reply.
I said I had a question and that I wanted everyone to answer.
Hinckley said he knew what I was going to ask, “Are all the chores done?”
I told him that while that is a good question, what I wanted to know was:
Would you rather be a centaur or a mermaid/merman?
Jacob: Somebody told me that centaurs are all boys, so, I want to be a merman because I want to be where there are girls too, and not only smelly horse boys, and I don’t want to have to carry a baby (and give birth).
Marcia the Elder: I would rather be a centaur because I know there’d have to be girls too, and I am not a swimmer, and there are holes in my eardrum, so, I think merlife would not be right for me.
Marcia the Younger: I would rather be a mermaid because centaurs are always boys.
Hinckley: I would rather be a centaur because it would be cool to gallop as fast as a horse.
Corban: After much refusal to cooperate and asking him the question each time he said something that was not the answer, here is how he eventually responded:
Seahorses can’t swim.*
I don’t want to be a mermaid because I don’t want to be in water.
I don’t want to be a centaur because I don’t want to go as fast as a horse.**
I would rather PLAY WITH a centaur that’s alive because I would play Hide and Seek, and I would always want to be first to seek.
* This was after talk about part fish and part horse.
**Hinckley tried to tell him he could choose to not go as fast.
Poor little guy was so tired he slept for 2 hours in the middle of the day. If only he would sleep at night when he is supposed to, and not be awake at 2:30 in the morning!
Some of my favorite recent kids’ quotes:
Marcia: Everything pizza? Even the dishwasher?*
Hinckley: Remember when I was really good at swallowing my throw up?**
Corban: I feel nice, but there are bones inside of me.
* Remember when it was “everything, including the kitchen sink”?
** This refers to when he was little and spit up so much, that he got really good at “choking it down.”
Corban is in an interesting phase. He is trying out new combinations of food. Tonight we had pancakes for supper. He had his with margarine, bacon bits, and fruit spread. All at the same time. The other day he asked for a sandwich for lunch on toast, with margarine, mustard, and pepperoni. And he ate all of those. There are other combinations that I simply refuse to give him, like when he asks for sun butter and jelly with pepperoni, margarine, and mayonnaise.
I was in false labor. We had sent Marcia the Younger off with Grammy. And then, nothing happened for two more days.
Last night Hinckley came running downstairs from bed to show us that he had pulled out a tooth. And today in class, his teacher was kind to him when he un-muted to share his good news.
Yesterday I decided to use up the rest of the tomatoes off the counter. All of them. Even the green ones. After some research online, I found multiple recipes of people using green tomatoes for pasta sauces and salsas. I chose to make sauce. After reviewing a variety, I picked the ingredients I like, and made enough for spaghetti and meatballs for last night and three pans of baked spaghetti and meatballs for future meals. One we used tonight, and the other two are in the freezer to enjoy another day.