Category: Family

Many things on my mind

One of the biggest right now has to do with online interactions.  Specifically the category of cyber bulling.

I know the first thing that comes to my mind when I hear that term is teenagers.  But I am here to remind us all that it is not just teens that are on the receiving end of this bad behavior.  There are many adults who participate.  Both those who bully and those who are bullied.

I would like to extend this invitation to everyone:  Please do not bully.  Not in virtual reality, not in real-life reality either.

Let us just get along.  If you do not wish to interact with an individual, just do not do it.  There is no need or benefit in going up to them and specifically ignoring them, or acting like they do not exist.  When a person is standing next to you and you believe they do not exist, does that mean you do not exist either?  Likewise, going into a person’s space on the internet (even if it is simply where the person may see it) and talking about them, or saying rude things to them is bullying.  Do not do it! 

Public versus private.  If you are planning or simply talking about private events, do it privately!  Or in the least do not be offended when “public” people ask for details because it looks like a fun thing. *

I believe one of the biggest reasons people do this on the internet is they don’t see it as real.  People who if you asked them in person if they are a bully would tell you they are not.  In person they probably would not perform the actions that hurt.  Why then does s/he feel differently about typing bullying words?  I do not know the reason, nor do I want to dwell on that, I am tired of trying to find out. 

This is why my online presence has been very scarce for the last months.  Do not ask details, I will not share names, I likely will not even tell the story with names changed.  This is part of my resolve to choose to not be offended any more.  And, yes, I do recognize that being offended is a choice; even if a person intends to offend mee I still can choose not to be offended.  I am human and probably will find offense at times, but I am working on decreasing this occurrence.

Just let’s remember what we do online is the same as going into another person’s home and saying/doing these things.  It stirs the same feelings in your own self.  The biggest difference is that in person, you can use body language and tone of voice.  When a person reads a message, it is open to interpretation based on what mood they are in, health, what they were just doing, etc.  Personally I do not like feeling like a “friend” has come to my home and started being rude, It would make mee want to kick them out.  So essentially that is what happened, I logged out and kicked them out of my personal space. 

Then, one day I was talking to a friend, she noticed I had not been online in a while (we were talking about facebook specifically) and asked if I was okay.  This is a real friend.  In the course of the conversation she asked if I missed it.  I understood the question to be about missing facebook.  I said that honestly no I do not.  As I have reflected on that conversation it occurs to mee that perhaps she was asking if I missed people.  I suddenly realized that while I kicked out the bullies, I also kicked out the not-bullies.  And I found that I missed out on a lot of great things.  (Things that I would know if I were “present” in the conversations.  I know some people have sent mee info/messages on facebook.  I know because you have told mee to go look and reply.  Slowly I think I will get to them.) So do I miss facebook?  Not necessarily.

Do I miss people?  Yes!  The positive ones.  Those who uplift, and bring a smile to my face.  I miss the fun conversations that I am sure have taken place among my siblings and cousins.  I miss being able to laugh with friends when they laugh or being able to shed a tear when a friend relates bad news.  The years and miles have separated many people.  The internet offers to be a gap connector.  Though the distance is great, we can enter each other’s’ homes and share our lives.  That is why I still have hope.

So, If you are worried that you are a bully, step back read what you type (listen to what you say) and think about how that would sound/feel if directed at (or excluded) you.  Only you can know your intentions.  If you can better/more clearly/less offensively state something, try.  Let us all work together to become a better society.  I know we can do it together.

 

* This brings up another point:  Stop whining because “Amy” and “Sally” are friends and hang out.  If you want to do things with Amy, invite her to get together, instead of crying because she invited Sally.  Do you want a friend that only whines and tries to make you feel bad?  I most certainly do not, I cannot think of anyone who does.  And even if a person does want that, do you really want to choose that kind of negativity for your life, or your family’s life?  I do not.

Friends are good to have.  They are great to have.  We can learn from each other.  We can have fun together.  And people can have friends that are other people.  Just because I enjoy walking with one friend and cooking with another, does not mean I can’t do something else with yet another person.  No one can be everybody’s everything.

 

Family Bike Ride!

This morning we decided to go for a family bike ride. Marcia Holland’s first. I think she enjoyed it. She took a nap in her bike trailer.

First we had to see if her helmet would fit her yet.

Still a little loose, but we decided it was close enough to go for a short ride.
After the ride she and Jacob had matching helmet-hair.

Next time we will have to set up the camera on a timer so we can get a shot of all three of us out for a bike ride.

We were all relaxing, Marcia on the floor, Me in the recliner and Jacob on the futon with the iPad. He fell asleep, and Marcia saw this as her opportunity. She crawled over, stood up, realized she could not reach, and put her xylophone in place as a step. Sadly for her, Jacob woke up in time to rescue it from her.

Then we decided to let Copyright take a turn at the piano. I hope you can get an idea of how much she likes the piano. Unfortunately, this video turned out odd. I recorded it with my phone. Now, watching the playback, it has the full three and a half minutes of video with audio, though somehow it un-synced. I don’t know how or why. When I uploaded it to youtube, it sped up part of the video and cut it short, and so there is only 25 seconds of audio. I (as her mother) still enjoy it, I hope you can too.

Another interesting fact…Marcia Had tooth number 8 break through the gums. Four on top and four on bottom! (Part of mee thinks this is unfair. I know all people are different and what not, but I know of kids that don’t start getting teeth till their first birthday. I wonder why she is in such a hurry.)

It is a big day for us Marcias

Well, it’s not really any different from other days.  But today, today I, Marcia the elder, have held Marcia the younger in my arms as many days as I held her inside mee.  My how time flies.  This little girl has accomplished so many tasks in these short 37 weeks and 4 days.  (I believe it is a big day for Jacob too, he just was at the university or high school during the picture and video sessions.)

She was walking all around the office.  I had given her some puffed rice to snack on, with mee in the room I was able to keep an eye on her.  While she is good with the walker, I am still quicker.  I was watching her, she was eating and loving her freedom.  Before my eyes, she got sleepy.  No whining or crying, though she was happy I picked her up to lay her down.

Here are some of the pictures taken during the first video.  And one that she wanted taken of mee.  I figure I ought to include myself at least once in a while.

First video was recorded to capture Marcia’s reaction to seeing her pictures.  The second is to showcase her self-feeding skills.  The videos are not really “thrilling” and I know that many people get bored of seeing baby videos, but I am happy with what she can do and figure that any grandparents or aunts/uncles or cousins Nana might be interested.

When I checked, YouTube had aborted the video. No reasons, just did. So now, 18 hours and 14 restarts later here is the second video.

Other notable information on Marcia (aka Copyright2010):

She has seven teeth, I can see the eighth right under the gums.
Her favorite color seems to still be red, though I do have some neon yellow fabric that she loves to play with.
She LOVES music.
She is always trying to take the camera or phone.  Always is not allowed to do so.  Always complains about that.
She is ticklish, and has an amazing laugh!
She pulls herself up on everything she can, she tried to climb up the outside of the walker this evening.
She likes to walk if some body holds her hands.  Once she figures out balance, there will be no stopping her.
She claps when she approves, or hears the words “good job.”  No matter who did the good job.
She claps when we get her out of the crib after naps.
She loves to look in the mirror.  Especially right after napping.  She smiles and talks and claps for the baby in the mirror, which I am sure she knows is herself (for a while now).
She roams all over her crib.  Standing, sitting, laying.  She does all that on her own.  She also moves a lot in her sleep.
She loves taking a bath.  She stands and sits and crawls all over the tub.  She would probably live in there if we would let her.
She likes to eat.  Her favorite foods thus far are butternut squash, puffed brown rice, and bananas.  I think she would eat anything if I mixed it with bananas.  She has not yet rejected anything, however the food she has been least thrilled with is apple.  We are also now on the look out for sensitivities to that with a second attempt, after a break.
We have been working on ASL signs.  She seems to understand the ones we use most.  She has been able to consistently make her version of “more,” “food,” “done,” “what,” and just today I saw her do “milk.”
She loves to bounce.  Jacob likes to tell people that “just like a puppy, you can tell how happy she is by how much her butt wiggles.”

Exciting times are a happening here

So, first off, Marcia the Younger had her fourth and fifth teeth pop through yesterday (Saturday).  Making a total of five teeth in that little mouth, three on bottom and two on top!  (I had to wait for her to sleep in order to get any pictures of the teeth in her mouth.)

Also, we got to go hang out with the Richard and Ginny clan including Martini and Noah-gator tonight!  That was lots of fun.

I’m feeling selfish

I love my baby, and I don’t want to share her. Then I remind myself that if I do, perhaps I will be lucky enough to hear that other people love her too….

So, here goes something: 2 videos. Of Marcia the younger. With brief appearances by the arms of Jacob and Marcia the elder. They are each around five and a half minutes long.

This first one is from the twelfth. In the bath tub. I put her in the bathing suit I wore as an infant (for modesty’s sake). It is nice to see a human wear it. For the past couple decades it was worn by my cabbage patch kid.

This second video is from today. First part this morning, second part this afternoon.

I hope you enjoyed the videos as much as we enjoy Marcia.

2010 Year in Review

Tonight, as we bid farewell to 2010, we reflect on some of the things that have happened this year. In hindsight, it’s been a very big year for us, with a lot of big, big changes. Here’s our list of accomplishments for 2010:

  • In January, Jacob went back to school to work on getting a Masters degree in Computer Science.
  • On one saturday in April, we got an iPad and learned that we were going to become parents (OK, so getting an iPad isn’t really a huge accomplishment, but it WAS an exciting day, and helped us launch a new business).
  • On June 14, we closed on the purchase of a house that had been trying to sell itself to us for two years, and on the same day started telling people that Marcia was pregnant.
  • On December 3, Marcia completed her mitosis and now we have two Marcias.
  • 2 weeks later, Jacob finished his second semester of graduate school (with a 4.0 GPA, which I’m quite proud of).
  • This morning, December 31, we read the Second Epistle of John, which was 373 consecutive days of reading scriptures together. 2010 was the first year in which we read together every day.
  • Also as of December 31, we have kept the smaller Marcia alive for 4 whole weeks, which is longer than any plant (and most fish) we’ve ever owned. The original Marcia is still alive and happy as well.

2010 Was very good to us, and we’re excited to see what 2011 brings. Happy New Year!